The Guitar

I have wanted to learn how to play the guitar for years. I finally have the opportunity, but no time. Mom and dad bought me an acoustic Fender for my birthday; exactly what I wanted. Its so plain and so perfect. I don't really even know how to hold it, I feel silly holding it and wishing I could make it sound as perfect as I know it can. It feels so good to even know the notes for each string.....

I am home for the week of both my birthday and Christmas, its good to be home, but i forgot my meds on the kitchen counter of my apartment. I have not told mom, but I think she knows. We continue to argue on a regular basis about my ability to comply. I am a nursing student for fucks sake, I know the consequences of not taking the little blue pill each day. But the side effects make it hard to want to be compliant.

Prozac:
CNS: SEIZURES, anxiety, drowsiness, headache, insomnia, nervousness, abnormal dreams, dizziness, fatigue, hypomania, mania, weakness, EENT: stuffy nose, visual disturbances, Resp: cough, CV: chest pain, palpitations, GI: diarrhea, abdominal pain, abnormal taste, anorexia, constipation, dry mouth, dyspepsia, nausea, vomiting, weight loss, GU: sexual dysfunction, urinary frequency, Derm: excessive sweating, pruritus, erythema nodusum, flushing, rashes, Endo: dysmenorrhea, MS: arthralgia, back pain, myalgia, Neuro: tremor, Misc: allergic reactions, fever, flu-like syndrome, hot flashes, sensitivity reaction (davis drug guide)

Highlighted in orange are the symptoms i deal with on a regular basis, the only one that is bad enough to make me crazy is the sexual dysfunction.....I think its time to switch to a med that allows me to have a normal sex life. Honestly, I'm not having sex on a regular basis at this point, but do you know how embarrassing it is to explain that I can't get there, sorry you're wasting your time....

I have nausea and a headache from suddenly stopping. I can tell I am slipping into a mild depression again; all I want to do is sleep. its hard for me to have the motivation to shower and get dressed....even on Christmas morning. It amazes me that three days without my meds can have this profound of an affect. I talked to one of my nursing instructors about this, she has encouraged me to remain on meds until finished with nursing school in June. I will try, but something has to change....

School starts again on the 7th of January, can you believe its almost 2008??? that is just crazy to me :) I need to get myself rested and organized my the time school starts....and I could probably do some reading so I am able to hit the ground running!!!!! I need to relearn some math as well as study fluids and electrolytes before we dive in again.....its time for acid base balance. I have been trying to understand acid base balance for two years and i still don't get it!!! FUCK any tips will be appreciated

much love
Amanda