Terror and Love, life is changing...

So I did it, I have graduated from nursing school. in less then a month I will be working as a Registered Nurse in Bend, Oregon. I have to pack all my earthly possessions and drive them over the pass and put them all back where they belong in a new home, in a new town. Not the first time that I have made a big move, and I doubt it will be the last. I now know that it feels good to move about, but it is hard to leave the people you meet along the way.



Over the past two years I have met the family I will have for the rest of my life. N, J, C, and S. We will all go our separate ways, but forever be in each others lives.



I got a phone call a few weeks ago, N was in the hospital. I was so terrified that I was going to lose my best friend. She is better now, physically. In some ways I had already lost her. We have separated over the last few months, it has been a struggle for me. This was an eye opener for me. Our relationships are precious, no matter the stage of the relationship. Maybe we are not as close as we once were, our lives are going in separate directions, but I love her no less. She is still my best friend, the only person who knows all my secrets. The one who does not judge me, or try to change me.

I have come to realize something else about love and sex. (I know big topic change). I don't know that I am capable of having sex the way that i once did. I remember now what it is to be held in the arms of someone you are in love with. I don't know that I can return from that. The only real problem is that he is gone, and will never know how I feel. That is OK. I will find someone amazing and perfect for me. It will take time, and I have time. I am only 23 years old, the world is at my fingertips!!

A life was lost this last week. An 18 year old girl who had just graduated from high school. She was close to my baby brother. I met her while they were dating back in May. I feel bad now, for asking myself if she was good enough for him. I decided that she was great, just about the time that they broke up. I had seen her a few time after the break up, they were still close friends. She was in a car accident, the rode gave way and her vehicle fell 250 feet down a cliff, and she is gone now. may her soul be in peace, and her parents treasure the love she will continue to give them each day.

I really do miss him, I have not even told N about him....hopefully I will see her before I leave for Bend. I don't know when I will be back in Portland, it could be a few months!!!

Well that is all I have for now. Just wanted to update you all on my fun and exciting life ;)

Life is changing. I am happy. I am loved. Life is good :)

much love
Amanda

First Job Interview

I was called for my first job interview today...totally excited. Its a Med/Surg position in Bend Oregon. I love central oregon so this could be good. I am nervous about the interview, and scared about the possibility of moving.......

wish me luck
A

New stuff...

the final is in ONE week and then...I will be able to take NCLEX and become a RN :)

I went to a baseball game with a guy, who I like...I don't know if it was a date and I dont' care because I finally had fun with a dude who was respectful and kind!

I applied for the following jobs:
Portland OR: OSHU bone marrow transplant
II Peds Hematology/Oncology
Corvallis OR: ICU/CCU New grad internship (this one would be amazing)
Alaska: Providence Health...they need nurses bad and will pay moving costs....
and camp nurse :) wahoo

I really want to stay in Portland, but I would move to back to Corvallis for the right job, or to Alaska for the right price/job....you know how it is!

If I end up having to move for work I will put the linfield RN-BSN program off for a few years, or go to another school when I relocate....

I played with my friend Tonya's new baby...I got my fill and realize I am so not ready for one on my own, but can't wait to play with Claire again!!!

I have been working out way more then I was a few months ago....no weight lost, but I feel so much better

I just ate a bunch of chocolate ice cream and that's why I don't' lose weight ;) lol

and now, I have hella cramps so I am going to bed and wishing I had someone to snuggle with!!!!

much love
A